Score: 10

"Woah, Woah there"

submission: a very relevant statement

date: January 14, 2009

The cake'll make ya body quake, make no mistake. I hate, to think about fate of so much cake. It's more than I can take with the end-less, con-fec-tions.

Word is born.

Score: 10

"For further seasonal derangement,"

submission: Santa's Visit

date: January 2, 2009

See the outstandingly demented and surreal film 'Christmas Evil' (AKA 'You Better Watch Out!'), and the sort of semi-clone and it's sequel made a couple years later, 'Silent Night, Deadly Night', though those two aren't as good as the brilliant original. They are the closest relatives to this animation, featuring Santa Claus serial killers, and there's also another more recent, and amazingly corny one with the wrestler Bill Goldberg as an evil Santa with real super powers, 'Santa's Slay'. There are plenty of other Christmas theme horror films, though, like the classic 'Black Christmas', the sort of banal and mediocre Halloween ripoff 'He Knows You're Alone', and the Charles Band film, 'The Gingerdead Man', which stars Gary Busey! There's also a film about a killer snowman called 'Jack Frost' (NOT the Michael Keaton cinematic coma) which has a sequel, as well as a couple I haven't even seen yet, like 'Don't Open Till Christmas' and one which I assume is about a cat monster santa (?) Or something, 'Santa Claws'.

There are lots of tasteless ways to add some worthwhile genre experience to your holiday season, so I suggest you do so!

Score: 10

"MEH, MEH, MEH!!"

submission: Prime Minister Address

date: November 27, 2008

MEH MEH! Fag, effort is for fags! Ideas are GAY, I crave only what I have seen already! I am but one in a string of assholes following behind the previous one, completely convinced by the odour of the farts coming from the anus directly in front of me! No other processions of anuses exists on the entire planet by my own, I know not of the smell of their farts!

There was never a giant purple monster attacking an Australian city according to history books, so this premise is entirely fabricated and I am unable to make an abstract association in my mind of something fictional and something real. MEH, MEH, MEH! Poppycock, as if a giant lizard ever attacked Tokyo, or a giant ape New York, absolutely fallacious! You've misrepresented the literal reality of the world we live in with your fictional yarn, hogwash!

You must be a fag!